A Completely Random Tale

He buried his head in his hands and sobbed.  A few people walk past the man, paying no attention to him.  Until a stranger stops and asks the man a question “May I ask what seems to be the problem?”  The man doesn’t answer the stranger’s question and continues on crying, the stranger then keeps asking, “What is wrong?” Still no response and it makes the stranger so infuriated that he goes over to him and kick him right in the testicles. Now we know he’ll need to ice that for a while before the swelling goes down. There has been a tendency to treat injuries with heat, but heat is only a temporary salve against what ails us. We sometimes need ice, ice like the ice that forms the lake of my heart, the heart that doesn’t beat in my chest but only creaks like a war ship moving past the shore in the fog when you’ve been up for hours with only the clock for the team being in your possession. No one knew what time it was but they knew that in no time the battle would begin and lives would be lost. I yelled lets begin the battle and my men charged at the oppsite side, I was ready to break into paris and reclaim this land, I was willing to fight to the end for my people and all of a sudden I was unable to see. 

It’s like my world went blank. Everything I saw was white. Was there something in my eye? Were my cataracts messed up? Why is this happening to me? I don’t deserve this. I ran to the what I thought was the bathroom and turned on the water.

“ Maybe if I wash my eyes out, then maybe I will be able to see again”. I said to myself, I proceeded to wash my eyes but there wasn’t any change, Ironically it began to feel as if the problem was getting worse. “ Was I being punished?. The next day I noticed my eye swelling up. It looked disgusting. I looked gross. I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. So I had to think of a master plan. I saw this ad on TV for cosmetic surgery, so I said what the hell why not? I picked up my phone and dialed the number that I had written down. Ring ring.. “911 what is you’re emergency”? “Ooops my bad homie wrong number”.

“Are you kidding me, man? How do you accidently dial 911? I should send a squad car to pick you up just being a fucking idiot.”

“Sorry, man, won’t happen officer.” I slammed the phone down and grabbed a beer. “Well that went well.”

“Yea stick it to the man” we didn’t give a fuck as we rode away with the daylight in our eyes.  We drive as fast as we can, not having a single of we might run over an animal or crashing into another car.  As we drove, we hit a bump, I look to my friends and ask “What was that?” “I don’t know.”  Then the other friend says to us “Who cares, let’s just keep going until we crash and fly through the fucking window.”